Friday, February 28, 2014

World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 08

Time to do some questing and liberate our home from the forsaken. Unfortunately I need to free some slaves from a mine. Torn between duty and obsession with collecting the shinies.

Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 30

Searching of the swamp begins. Slime time is nigh and I find that there's not a whole heck of alot to do. So mining for a good sliming begins. I guess what i'm saying is SLIME!

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 29

On a five year mission to find a swamp. This lone wanderer must deal with deadly villagers and vile horses. Or something like that. My journey for slime continues.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Review: Hellbenders (2012)

Review by Disgruntled Monkey

Director: J.T. Petty
Starring: Clifton Collins Jr., Clancy Brown & Andre Royo
Writer: J.T. Petty

How should I word this? Mmmm. Every ounce of this movie brings me nothing but joy and I thank J.T. Petty for creating such an awesome movie. Yep I think that pretty much covers it. So I guess I should lay out the reasons for this perspective right?

Well first off the premise of the movie is a real fresh take on the exorcism genre. We are introduced to The Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound Saints. Basically priests that sin so that when an exorcism goes wrong they can invite the demon into them and then kill themselves sending their soul and the demon back to hell. Sort of the nuclear option.

It's this premise that really allows the movie to walk the line of comedy and horror rather well. Most of the movie comes across as a comedy. However there are some scenes that actually manage to get under the skin. Also the battles with the demons are a lot more brutal than you would think. Sometimes the two tones of horror and comedy don't gel perfectly but these are few and far between.

It helps that the movie is lead by Clancy Brown and Clifton Collins Jr. They share a good chemistry together, and the shifts from serious to comedy seems effortless for them. The other players are decent if not extraordinary. The only actor that kind of grated on me was Dan Fogler, but it wasn't that bad. Personally I think that Mr Fogler is just one of those actors whose style isn't for everyone.

Probably the biggest problem with the movie , is that it builds up to something that should be really damn epic but kind of drops the ball at the end. While the end wasn't exactly what seemed to be promised, it was still fun. It's probably a budget concern but then maybe the script could of been toned down a bit. I mean when you promise the end of the world and only give us medium sized bonfires, there seems to be a problem.

Style wise the movie just oozes with it and J.T Petty really has a grasp on how he wants to the world to look. It's so assured and it really does come across that this is his baby. I really hope the man gets to do more work as with this and The Burrowers he really has talent.

If you like some horror with your comedy, or comedy with your horror then this is definitely worthy of your time. It can get a little dark and maybe you shouldn't watch it if you are expecting anything light. But in the end this is just such a complete film I have a real hard time coming up with faults. Go watch this now.

0.5 crucifixes out of 1
I loved it but there are some clashes of tones.
0.5 crucifixes out of 1
It's surprising how well the movie works, the end is a bit of a let down though.
1 crucifix out of 1
Acting is generally good with Clancy Brown and Clifton Collins Jr stealing the show.
1 crucifix out of 1
J.T Petty has some great talent.
1 crucifix out of 1
Style is great and really captures the world being built.

4 crucifixes out of 1
If the idea of this movie tickles your fancy, then watch this movie.

Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 28

That's it. I've had enough. Time to head back to the swamp and get me some gel. It's all about the urge for coloured wool. Shame I get lost.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 07

Who let this Worgen out? Well I did and it's time to punish some evil banshee's and take back our land for all Worgen kind. So say we all!

Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 27

We have some technical problems but we soon sort it all out so there is a break. However other than that I do have some exciting adventures in the Cave of Creepy Creepers and Slenderman joins us once more.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 26

There are people who are forged in the fire. They become like gods. However most people burn to a cinder as you will see in this fresh episode.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 25

Today i'm sick so we have a short episode. Still we manage to find interesting side dungeons and we also kill a few zombies. Every let's play is a sensual feast for the ears and eyes.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 24

Here lies a man who got too greedy for wool and died a horsey fate. But thankfully death is only a minor inconvenience where Minecraft is concerned.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 23

Having completed a substantial part of house renovations, I decide that adventuring is again up on the list. Wool needs to be collected along with dye. Carpets must be made. CARPETS!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 06

Ore shall be mined. Metals smelted. Spiders Smited. And in a guest appearance, a Night Elf will hit on me. I swear she does.

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 22

Time to redecorate. Crafting room, sorting out my stuff. It's all coming together. Nothing could possibly go wrong. Not even a visit from a Enderman/Slenderman. It does however justify the need for locks.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 21

Another week and it's back to chopping tress and taking names. Join me as I set about fixing my farm and making it look all pretty and what not.

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 05

Time to save the people of my country cause things are going down. Namely farming land and houses. To top it off we still have many many undead. Gah!

Friday, February 14, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 20

I chop wood and fiddle with hedges. Cause hedges need to be fiddled with. Wait that sounds suss. Shame I can't edit this description. Nope. Once published it's all down hill from here.

Review: The Disco Exorcist (2011)

Review by Disgruntled Monkey

Director: Richard Griffin
Starring: Michael Reed, Sarah Nicklin & Ruth Sullivan 
Writers: Ted Geoghegan & Tony Nunes

First scene of this movie we get a strip tease as a man is murdered by a voodoo doll. Along with the grainy feel and low quality of the film you know they are heading head long into exploitation territory. This beginning along with the poster I saw promised me a stupid good time.

Then the fucking began. Scene after scene of soft core porn and nothing even remotely featuring horror. We get some demonic possession once we reach the porn studio but honestly this movie just wants to show boobs. It's just a few angles and misplaced sheets from becoming a full blown porno.

I guess this is what exploitation is all about but I'm not going to give it any lee way when it's professing itself  as a horror/comedy. Personally I think that most movies that try and ape the style of exploitation movies forget to actually give us a movie. The Disco Exorcist falls into this trap.

On a positive side of things Michael Reed as Rex Romanski is a very likeable lead and does ooze charisma. I'm sure he wasn't averse to all the sex scenes. There are also some funny lines and when the movie becomes focused the comedy isn't half bad. Still this is all few a far between.

Take away all the sex and you are left with nothing. The makers got too caught up with the exploitation aspects of The Disco Exorcist that they forgot to put an actually movie in. Oh and one last thing. The damn movie poster lied, Rex isn't a priest. DAMN IT!

0.5 disco balls out of 1
I did laugh a few times.
0 disco balls out of 1
Unless they had stage direction for the fucking scenes i'm not sure there was much of a script.
0.5 disco balls out of 1
Michael Reed is pretty damn good in this.
0 disco balls out of 1
No real style in the way it was directed at all.
0.5 disco balls out of 1
They made it look like a movie from the 70's. 

1.5 disco balls out of 5
Not a hell of a lot to recommend here.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 19

More mining and then a journey home. With diamonds flowing from my pockets nothing can stop me now right? Well maybe a phone call from my mother in law. Don't miss the action.

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 04

Suddenly Quests! Yes my Worgen is back and things are finally progressing. Huzzah. Watch as I tackle the undead from invading the homeland and curse as I rather mine than complete quests vital to mankind's survival.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 18

I continue mining at Danron Mining Station 1. I find glorious diamond and beat up on a creeper. Damn it's good to be me at the moment. I'm sure nothing bad will possibly happen.

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 03

Starting off in my new Worgen life I soon find out that a glitch in the Matrix causes me to run about and not accomplish a whole heck of a lot. Laugh as one man get's more and more frustrated.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 17

Loud noises be damned, I have a show to put out. Coming to you from his apartment, Disgruntled Monkey shows you how to change tragedy into opportunity. We do a little digging and a lot of killing as we establish Danron Mining Outpost 1.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 16

Falling off a cliff is not for the faint hearted. In this episode I show you why. Tragedy leads to a desperate race against the sun. Will this be the end? Better tune in and find out.

Review: Aftershock (2012)

Review by Disgruntled Monkey

Director: Nicolás Lópeza
Starring: Eli Roth, Ariel Levy & Nicolás Martínez
Writers: Guillermo Amoedo, Nicolás López & Eli Roth

Now there are movies in this world that I classify as the 'Fuck You' movies. Basically you watch a movie that travels a dark road and by the end you find out that there isn't a happy ending. In fact there was never going to be a happy ending in the first place.

A good example of the 'FU Movie' would be The Mist. We are introduced to likeable characters, they go through hell which indears us more to them and then the end punches us in the gut because we care for them. Unfortunately horror is full of 'FU Movies' that have the shocking ending down pat, but they forget to give us likeable characters. Enter Aftershock.

At first I thought that Aftershock was going to be different as the characters weren't too bad to begin with. But soon it dirty's them up so I couldn't give a shit anymore. By the end I was just exhausted and when the shocking ending happened I could only cheer cause the movie was finally over.

Aftershock is a nasty film, full of fucked up people and that before the earthquake hits. When that does we get some decent folk, but most of the time we are just greeted with horrible humans. Even when things are going right for the good folk, mother nature appears and kills them off.

There are two things in this movie that I thought were good. The kernel of an idea at the core that human nature is worse than natural disasters and the gore effects. Unfortunately both are over exposed.

The central idea is great and in more refined hands could have turned out to be an excellent movie. However we just linger in the nastiness and when you find out that you won't be getting out of that nastiness the exhaustion sets in. The gore is great and did get a few winces out of me. Well in the beginning. By the end I just didn't care and nothing they threw at me got me going.

Honestly avoid this movie. It's not entertaining, there's nothing here that will hold your attention. It's just being nasty for nastiness sake. Maybe if there were some characters I could care about it wouldn't be so bad, but in the end I just wanted it to be over.

0 quakes out of 1
There is nothing remotely entertaining or interesting in this movie. 
0 quakes out of 1
I'm not sure what they really wanted to accomplish with this story.
0 quakes out of 1
I'll defend Eli Roth and his directing, but his acting is another thing.
0.5 quakes out of 1
Directing wasn't bad but nothing great.
0.5 quakes out of 1
Gore effects were pretty good.

1 quakes out of 5

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 02

In this episode I find my voice. One which is very british. Prepare to hunt Worgen with a pet Mastiff and to find the inner beast.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 15

I head home and store my ill gotten gains. However never one to rest on his laurels I go back out to get me some more glorious loot. Creepers, spiders, horror and a skeleton dungeon, it's all in this episode.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Let's Play: World of Warcraft - A Monkey's Journey Episode 01

Dipping into World of Warcraft, it's time to reclaim my long lost MMO self. This part is only around ten minutes, but then I didn't want to spoil you all too much, too quickly.

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 14

After the brutal massacre of a village, Disgruntled Monkey needs to kill some monsters. Endermen, zombies, spider, all shall falll. We also take a moment to come up with some promotional ideas for Dell and Alienware, cause damn it I want free stuff.

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 13

The final part for the day and what a way to end it. We have adventure, romance and the entire slaughter of a village. Join in the fun as we wrap up today with a cliffhanger. Ooooooooooo TENSION!

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 12

My mouse was saved and the minecrafting could continue. Huzzah! I build a pool and talk about Bronies. It's some head shaking at the more disturbed members of the culture and a defense of those who just like themselves some MLP. Please note there is Minecraft stuff.

Let's Play: Monkey's Minecraft Mayhem Part 11

After an absence, the monkey is back to Minecrafting. Today we begin by starting to dig. Yep dig. Can you dig the digging? 

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Get Ranty: Web Negativity

I've come to realize that when I say rant, I don't mean it's angry, just babbling over stuff in the hopes of finding a meaning. Today I talk about Web Negativity and briefly touch on Daniel Bryan and that whole Royal Rumble thing.