Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Review: Texas Chainsaw 3d

Review by Disgruntled Monkey

Director: John Luessenhop
Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde and Scott Eastwood 
Writers: Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan and Kirsten Elms

Not sure were to honestly begin with this review as this movie is a mess. But if you are careful enough to wipe away the piles of crap you can actually find some shiny goodness. Now the good parts never justify the end product but at least it makes me feel like this isn't a total wash.

First off we have Alexandra Daddario who is actually a very decent actress. She makes the main character of Heather really likable and manages to create a very solid core in the film. Perhaps if the character was in another film we would actually be talking more about her character.

Speaking of other films. If this movie was removed from the Texas Chainsaw branding we could of seen something fairly decent as the main idea is intriguing. A young girl finds out she's adopted when a letter arrives about an inheritance, but soon she will find that the inheritance may not just include a nice house and money. The family secret is about to get loose and the young girl will need to decide who to defend, the town or her family. See it sounds pretty good.

Unfortunately while the premise sounds good the movie is undone by the standard horror tropes. Characters act stupidly, twists happen that aren't that twisty and basically story is put in the back seat for some good ol chainsaw action. But then again can we expect anything more from a Texas Chainsaw movie? Well no really. Hence why I feel that Alexandria and the core story concept could of done better in something different.

Summing it all up this is a bad movie that even fans of the Texas Chainsaw movies would do well to avoid. It does nothing to build the mythos of the franchise and it squanders what good things it has by trying to cram it into said franchise. Just avoid.

0 chainsaws out of 1
It's pretty stupid and offers nothing new.
0 chainsaws out of 1
One great concept ruined by trite crap.
1 chainsaws out of 1
Alexandria Daddario gives a great performance.
0 chainsaws out of 1
Nothing to leave memories.
0.5 chainsaws out of 1
It get's a half cause it doesn't look horrible, just not memorable.

1.5 chainsaws out of 1
Ho hum. Move along.

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