Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Review: Tape 407 (2012)

Review by Disgruntled Monkey

Directors: Dale Fabrigar, Everette Wallin
Starring: Abigail Schrader, Samantha Lester, James Lyons
Writer: Robert Shepyer,

If you’ve read my blog for any length of time then you’ll know that I’m a fan of found footage horror movies. For the life of me I’m not really sure why, but I’m at least monkey enough to also admit that while I’m a sucker for the genre, there is just a whole bunch of crap out there at the moment. Every time I sit down to watch one of these films it’s a bit like Russian roulette. Still, I keep spinning the chambers and pulling the trigger in the hopes of finding something awesome.

Unfortunately awesome and Tape 407 will never be seen together. In fact I believe that courts have already put into effect restraining orders that won’t allow Tape 407 to be within 100 feet of ‘awesome’. Tape 407 or Area 407 or Oh God That Movie, is just a really cheap film looking to cash in on the over worked found footage style. It brings exactly zilch to the genre and fails to deliver even a clich√©d fun ride.

Characters are the usual assortment of bland and arseholes, with the only character I kind of liked dispatched early on. However to place the blame on the actors would be a disservice. There seems to be no real direction going on, with scenes seemingly adlibbed. Unfortunately the adlibs boil down to people screaming at each other, screaming at the monsters and going on and on about fucking peanuts.

Snout of doom. SNOUT OF DOOM!
Maybe if the monsters were fun I could of classed this movie in the so bad it’s good division, but you never really see anything except shadows and some really, really dodgy CGI. Of course you get the money shot at the end and it was most certainly not worth the price of admission.

Sadly, there is nothing here to recommend and yet I get the feeling that some may still venture into the nether realms that hold this movie in order to have a laugh. I warn thee, this is just bad, plain and simple. Do not watch. Do not feed after midnight. Just move on and ignore this corpse of a movie.

No comments:

Post a Comment