Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Review: Paranormal Entity (2009)

Director: Shane Van Dyke
Starring: Shane Van Dyke, Erin Marie Hogan and Fia Perera
Writer: Shane Van Dyke

From the makers of such classics as Snakes on a Train, Princess of Mars and Almighty Thor, comes the next in a long line of straight to video movies trying to cash in on the name of more successful films. Now being a fan of the Paranormal Activity movies (just take a look at my reviews), you would think that I am about to curse this movies existence. Well you would be wrong, dead wrong.

See I don’t know how many times I've told people that I really enjoy the Paranormal Activity movies and then been yelled at for my taste in movies. “Those movies have no talent behind them,” and “Anyone could make those movies,” are the common comments. How ever now that I have seen Paranormal Entity, I have a movie to show them, that is basically Paranormal Activity without any talent what so ever.

From cover, to set up, to general premise, this movie wants to be Paranormal Activity (hereby dubbed P.A) so bad. Some could point out that this movie doesn’t have the studio money like P.A, and yet that’s a load of crap. P.A was made for $15 000, and while it’s not the greatest there is definite tension built, characters that appear more than stock cut outs, and some talent when it comes to what is shown and how the haunting’s are pulled off.

Yes, stick your tongue out more. More tongue means more dead.
Paranormal Entity is a movie where not a whole heck of a lot happens, and when something does it’s normally off camera. The big show down that this movie is building up to isn’t even shown. Good damn it movie even the absolutely terrible Documenting the Grey Man had some pay off, even if it was horrid. This movie reeks of laziness and even goes so far to give us nudity to spice things up. It isn’t called for, isn’t effective, and made me feel really sorry for the actress.

I will give Asylum one thing. It is capable of making movies that are enjoyable with a group of friends and large amounts of alcohol. This movie even fails at this; there is no enjoyment to find as nothing ever happens. I’m not sure if I can go on more about this movie, so just avoid this wretched piece of crap, but be warned. Give Paranormal Activity a bad name, and I will make you watch this, it’s the only way you’re going to learn.

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