Monday, June 21, 2010

Quick Movie Reviews: Vol 1

Sometimes I don't feel like doing full blown reviews, of course this means that my reviews can be few and far between so to alleviate that i'm now introducing Quick Reviews. TADA. So if I can get you (yes you) to calm down for a minute i'll get into the very first volume. I know i'm excited too.

Robin Hood (2010)
"In the name of King John, pay or burn."

I was excited but now i'm dead bored. Honestly I watched this and was just astounded at how important it tried to make itself and yet at the same time so boring. You can be a dead serious epic movie if you want but for the love of all that is Cthulu please have something happen. Also am I the only one who is sick and tired of Russell Crowe playing Russell Crowe.




House on Haunted Hill (1959)
"Don't stay up thinking of ways to get rid of me, it makes wrinkles."

This is cheese central and I think has only really become a classic thanks to Vincent Price. That said I love this movie. I'm hooked on every word Mr Price says and from the riduclous floating head intro to Watson Pritchards final warning to both characters and viewers it's fun times. Make sure to have many friends with for maximum effectiveness.




Suspiria (1977)
"Bad luck isn't brought by broken mirrors, but by broken minds."

WTF? That's pretty much the response of myself and those around me. I was really looking forward to seeing this movie as I heard a lot of positive feed back. Yet I couldn't help feel dissapointed as the closing credits started. Now seperating the scenes out there are some really interesting choices in lighting and camera angles. Some scenes are creepy as hell, but it's as if the parts are better than the whole. Still I can see why people like the movie just not my thing.


The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
"You could have dinner with us... my brother makes good head cheese! You like head cheese?"

Loved this film.

What you need more?

I saw the sequel before this and really appreciated this more because of it. It's rough around the edges but there is a charm to this movie and that's what has kept it a classic.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Review - Prince of Persia (2010)

“My friend, has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?”

Director: Mike Newell
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Alfred Molina
Screenplay: Boaz Yakin, Doug Miro

Plot: Adopted from the streets of Nasaf by King Sharaman of Persia, young Dastan grows up amongst royalty and quickly earns his place as a mighty warrior and prince. However when Dastan is accused of the murder of King Sharaman, he flees with a princess on a harrowing mission to not only clear his name, but stop an evil mastermind's plot for ultimate power with a mystical weapon that can control the very fabric of time.

Plan 9 From Outer Space is a bad movie, the catalogue of Uwe Boll is just a lesson in what not to do in movies, I could go on and on but I’ll say this. Behind these movies there is some passion, Ed Wood thought he was making the next big thing, and while some may say Uwe Boll is just in it for the money he makes enough movies for me to believe he loves what he does. That brings me to Prince of Persia which is not as bad as what was mentioned before but it’s so mediocre I find it worse in some respects as it has no real heart.

Let’s start as always with the acting. Just across the board people came in got their pay checks and left. I’ve read some reviews complain about Gyllenhaal’s accent in the movie, honestly it was fine I just didn’t give a damn about the character which is a huge problem seeming he’s the leading man. Gemma Arterton was a pretty cliché princess. She hates the main character, she falls for him, cut to kissing scene, end movie. Yet again another character that I didn’t care about. Out of Dastan’s family the only real actor is Ben Kingsley and while he’s good he isn’t exactly memorable. Now Alfred Molina on the other hand as Sheik Amar was memorable and I enjoyed every moment he was one screen, he seemed to be really enjoying himself. If it wasn’t for him I would have probably fallen asleep.

This being an action fantasy movie, it is probably not a surprise that there is action. For the most part it does a good job in seeming like a Prince of Persia movie, plenty of nods to the game. It does have a little bit of the jump editing that is so in this decade but for the most part you can see the action on the screen. CGI looked okay and overall the movie is well polished but it just seems to be going by the numbers. Action scene here, chase over there, fight, but through and through I just didn’t care. Not only do you need characters to care about in action scenes but you need a good story to drive the action and it’s a pretty standard story. Nothing special. It’s almost like a check list of clichés and damn it the writers are going to tick everyone.

I can’t say I was disappointed by this movie because I wasn’t really looking forward to it but yet it still managed to astound me at how dull it was. Clichés out of the butt and two lead characters I couldn’t give a flying dagger about. Honestly people if I had to show you this or an Uwe Boll movie I would suggest you go watch Mr Boll at work because at least he’s trying to be original.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Review - The Losers (2010)

“That's right bitches; I got a crossbow!”

Director: Sylvian White
Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Jason Patric
Screenplay: Peter Berg, James Vanderbilt

Plot: After being betrayed and left for dead, members of a CIA black ops team join forces with a girl out for revenge in a desperate bid to gain their lives back and make the mysterious Max pay for his crimes.

The trailer got me pretty excited and from what I read of the comic books I like the story. But having watched the movie I can’t help but be a little disappointed. It’s not that it’s bad it’s just that the elements seemed to be there but not a lot was made of it. Still there are some positives and it won’t be a complete waste of time for people.

Acting wise it’s all pretty standard with only a few notable exceptions. Chris Evan no stranger to comic book movies plays Jensen, who is basically the films comic relief. Out of the motley group that is The Losers he is the bright spot and was the only character that stood out for me. It was nice to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan in the movie after his terrific turn as The Comedian from Watchmen but there was something lacking from him as Clay in this movie. Zoe Saldana as Aisha also proves a problem for me. Not that she’s a bad actress but that I didn’t buy that she was this lean mean mercenary. But I can’t move on from the acting without mentioning Jason Patric who plays the villain Max. He chews every scene he is in and it’s a pleasure to watch.

Action wise this movie hopes to be a sugar rush. Just cram the movie full of action and enjoy the ride, however here is where the movie really starts to fall apart at least in my opinion. The action scenes that I saw didn’t make me give a damn. I was hoping to get to an acting scene that had Jensen or Max and to me that’s quite a failing of the director. The story itself is pretty decent, but there doesn’t seem to be much behind it all. Mind you one thing I’ll give the movie at least I could see the action occurring.

Story wise it’s all very basic but it gets the job done. We have a classic team set up for a fall after they try and do the right thing. It seems to follow the comics relatively closely and there is a set up sequels. I think the movie could have done with some more character development. Get us to care about the characters more and we’ll give a damn about the action situations they get put in. It’s pretty simple.

I’ll probably get this movie on DVD as even though it seems I’ve given it a fairly negative review I did leave the movie happy. It does things okay but I think the most annoying thing for me is that there was potential here and it wasn’t used to the fullest. If you’re after an action movie that doesn’t ask for much and one that you’ll forget after a while you could do no worse than The Losers.